i like how i’m not even remotely phased by anyone’s url anymore like oh look at this adorable kitten that satansbloodsacrifice reblogged from 1d-lives-inside-my-actual-vagina
1. Get on Ellen to share my book with the world.
2. During the show, make the “bombshell announcement” that I do not, in fact, have SMA, but rather faked everything as a publicity stunt.
3. Say something along the lines of “And now, to prove it, I WILL GET UP AND WALK.”
4. Flop out of my chair onto the stage, breaking all my bones in front of millions of viewers.
Sales will skyrocket. I’m sure of it.
I hope I’m one of those kids that just magically becomes hot after they leave high school